I’ve known something was not right for awhile now.  I’ve tried putting away the laptop on the days my kids are home, but that didn’t seem to be enough.  Then recently, a friend shared this post from Hands Free Mama on Facebook.  Reading it was like getting hit in the gut.  It’s got me thinking about how truly enslaved I am to my electronic devices, especially my iPhone.

“Enslaved?  Really, Marissa?  That’s a little overboard.”

But think about it . . .

• Can you go out to lunch with a friend for an hour, put your phone in your purse on silent and not even think about checking it?  Or do you worry that your husband might need something or your kid might puke at preschool?

• Can you wait until you get ALL THE WAY home to check that text message, or do you grab your phone at the stoplight?  And of course, once you’ve read it, can you really keep that person waiting 20 minutes until you reply?

• Can you leave your phone in the car while you take your kids to the park?  Or do you need something to entertain you while you sit on a bench or push them on the swings?  (Of course, if you just got a text, they will have to wait for that push.  You can’t push and text.  I’ve tried.)

• How many times have you jumped up from reading a book to your kids because your phone summoned you with it’s little chime?

A week ago, my answers to these questions were embarrassing.  My eyes have been opened to my need for constant communication, my desire for interaction and entertainment, and the pressure I feel to be accessible to everyone at every moment.  And my kids are paying the price.

If you are my age or older, you remember a time when we all had those devices with the spiral cords hanging on our walls at home.  They didn’t have answering machines or call waiting or caller ID.  If you wanted to talk to someone, and they were at the grocery store or outside getting their mail or already talking to someone else, you had to call back later.

My mom never worried that the world might fall apart while she was at the grocery store.  She never had to make a decision about who was more important:  the person she was already talking to, or the person calling in on call-waiting.  When she took me to the park, she wasn’t checking Facebook or playing Words With Friends.  She didn’t have a contact list of hundreds of interesting people she could chat with while she drove me around town.

I’m planning a throw-back to 1982, y’all.  My kids deserve my full attention, and I don’t want to miss out on these years that they actually want to talk or play with me.  I refuse to let this little screen rule my life.

Stay tuned for my iPhone detox plan . . .

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This question posed by our pastor today has got me thinking.  If someone could witness your prayer life, would they think . . .

God must require them to say these words every day so they can check that off their list.

Her God must not be too powerful, if this is all she’s asking for.

Is this God a short-order cook?  She calls Him “Father” but then talks to Him like she’s placing a fast-food order.

It doesn’t seem like God has done anything for her before, why does she think He will do something now?

This God must either not exist or not be too important if this is all the praying she does.

OR . . .

This God is deserving of worship and adoration for all His wonderful attributes and promises.  He is good, and He has done marvelous things.

This God has saved her and given her all good gifts.

This God has done so much for her that she can’t stop thanking Him.

This God must be holy–she needs to confess her sin before Him.

I can’t believe she has the nerve to ask for THAT!  This must be one powerful God.  She must think He is actually in control and able to do that.

She loves so many people enough to pray for them regularly, and she believes God can and will help them.

This God truly is her Father.  I can tell by the way she is pouring out her heart to Him.

Did she just thank Him in the midst of her trial?  This God gives trials and uses them for good?  She’s still praising Him–He must truly be a good and faithful God.

I know what I believe about God:  that He is my holy, almighty Father, who gave His Son for salvation and has given me so many undeserved gifts that there is not time in the day to thank Him for all of them.  He is all-powerful, faithful and good, and He cares deeply for me.  All of my days and all of my loved ones are in His hands.  So why doesn’t my prayer life reflect that?

Our pastor said this morning that prayer is hard.  Not a very pastor-like thing to say, if you ask me.  But I’m glad he said it, because it is true.  Prayer is a privilege, but it is also a discipline.  It takes practice and time and effort.

I want the Lord to be glorified by the way I talk to Him, even when no one else is listening or watching, simply because of who He is and what He has done.  He is worthy of our praise, confession, thanksgiving and petitions.  As I can remember my Grandma Coomber singing:  what a friend we have in Jesus, and what a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer.

“What a Friend We Have in Jesus”

Words by Joseph M. Scriven

What a friend we have in Jesus, 

all our sins and griefs to bear! 

What a privilege to carry 

everything to God in prayer! 

O what peace we often forfeit,

O what needless pain we bear, 

all because we do not carry 

everything to God in prayer. 

Have we trials and temptations? 

Is there trouble anywhere? 

We should never be discouraged; 

take it to the Lord in prayer. 

Can we find a friend so faithful 

who will all our sorrows share? 

Jesus knows our every weakness; 

take it to the Lord in prayer. 

Are we weak and heavy laden, 

cumbered with a load of care? 

Precious Savior, still our refuge; 

take it to the Lord in prayer. 

Do thy friends despise, forsake thee? 

Take it to the Lord in prayer! 

In his arms he’ll take and shield thee; 

thou wilt find a solace there.

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I think moms also wear the “I’m so obviously overwhelmed and stressed out that you shouldn’t expect anything from me” mask.  The purpose of this mask is to make sure everyone sees your shortcomings, so no one would ever ask you to plan the school fundraiser . . . after all, you can’t even dress your entire family before leaving the house.  This mask isn’t nearly as glamorous as the first, but I know I’ve pulled it out a time or two when the perfection mask wasn’t gonna happen.

There are probably other masks that we wear and variations of these.  We all have our strengths and take on specific roles in our group of friends.  If you are the organized one, you don’t want anyone to see your disorganized closet.  If you are the phenomenal cook, you’d hate for anyone to know that your kids are having mac’n’cheese from the box for dinner (again).  If you are the theologian, you must have an answer for every problem, complete with at least three memorized Scripture references.  If you are the social butterfly, you hope no one ever finds out how lonely you feel most of the time.

In true friendships, especially in the church, I have seen a push to take off those masks.  It’s trendy to be genuine and vulnerable.  And I think we peek out from behind them with those friends we can trust.  But lately I’ve been realizing how much my mask is still on, even when I think I’m being real.

Truly taking off your mask does not mean laughing with your mommy-friends about how frustrated you got with your kid yesterday or how annoying your husband can be.  Taking off your mask means pouring out your heart, probably with tears, about how you have no idea what to do with that child and how scared you are about where it’s all heading.  It means admitting your marriage is on rocky ground, no matter how many times you smile and grab your husband’s hand on your way into church.  Sharing your shortcomings so that people find you approachable and witty is just trading one mask for another.

So my question to my sisters in Christ is, when was the last time you were real with someone?  Not fake-real, not witty-real, not I’m-down-to-earth-but-I-hope-you-still-admire-me real.  Because the bottom line is that we all need the Gospel.  We all need to be reminded on a daily basis that Christ is enough and we are not.  If we are willing to share with our friends that we aren’t measuring up, they can remind us that Christ already attained perfection on our behalf.  His perfect record has been given to us by God’s grace, so we are free to be the screw-ups that we are.

When I admit my ugliest failures to my friends, it is an opportunity for them to preach the Gospel to me.  And when they admit their failures to me, I can do the same for them.  It might not be pretty or fun, but it is covered in God’s grace.  That is genuine, mask-less community.

Now, who wants to meet me for coffee and take off some masks?

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This morning, I was reading Romans 5 to the kids when we came across these verses:

Romans 5:6-8:  For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.  For one will scarcely die for a righteous person–though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die–but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  

I asked Christopher–and told him not to answer out loud–what he would do if a bad guy came into our house with a gun and told him that he was going to either kill him or his brother.  Who would he choose?  It would be a tough choice, wouldn’t it?  I told him that I would die for them, because they are my children, and I love them that much.  But there aren’t a lot of people I would die for.

Then I asked another question: “What if a bad guy broke into our house and stole all our stuff?  He would be our enemy, right?  And then what if another bad guy brought that bad guy in and gave you a choice.  The second bad guy would either kill you or the guy who stole all your stuff.  What do you choose?”

Christopher got excited.  He knew the answer to this one.  ”The bad guy!”  he said enthusiastically, “He would definitely have to kill the bad guy, not me!”

The great thing about kids is that they rarely see where the illustration is headed until you lower the boom.

“Christopher, you are the bad guy.  That’s what these verses are saying.  We are sinners, and we were God’s enemies.  But Jesus said to the Father, ‘Kill me, not them.’  He died for us even though we were the bad guys.”

He was speechless, and I was almost in tears.  Hit with my own reminder of the unfathomable nature of the Gospel.  The crazy, true story in which the perfect, blameless Son of God dies for a bunch of wretched sinners like you and me.  The most amazing love story of all.

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Our pastor has been preaching through Romans.  It has been so good.  I think if I could only have one book out of the Bible, I’d pick Romans.  I could read every day about what a wretched sinner I am (Romans 1 and 3), how God chose to save me through the death of His Son, Jesus Christ (Romans 3:23-25, 5:8, 10:9), that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ (Romans 8:1), and that NOTHING can separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:38-39).

Last Sunday, we arrived at Romans 12.  The big “Therefore . . . ”  News as fabulous and life-changing as the Gospel requires a response.  And Romans 12 tells us that our response of gratitude for what God has done for us is to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice and be transformed by the renewing of our mind.

I’ve been thinking about these verses for a few days now and pondering how my mind needs some renewal.  When I first found out that I was cancer-free and finished with treatment, I was overflowing with joy.  Anyone who asked how I was doing would get an earful about all the wonderful things God had done.

But as time goes on, discontentment and anxiety start to creep in.  I stop being thrilled to have hair and start to envy the long, beautiful hair of others.  I look around me and feel jealous of those who don’t have to go to Houston every three months for a CT scan, who don’t have to think about cancer returning, and who blissfully assume they will hold their grandchildren someday.  I start to hold on tightly to my own plans instead of being thankful for today and trusting tomorrow to the Lord because He knows best.

I hate sin.  It is so ugly.  Especially mine.

When I read, “offer your bodies as living sacrifices,” it sounds like I need to give myself, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, to the One who created me and His perfect will.  I need to say, “God, because I have received your mercy and grace in Christ, I know You are good and Your ways are perfect.  You can let this body be devoured by cancer or live 50 more years–whatever brings more glory to Your name.”  Do I have the courage to say that?  Some days I don’t, some days I do–only by the power of the Holy Spirit.

To offer my body as a living sacrifice, I need my mind to be renewed.  I’ve decided that when those envious or anxious thoughts creep in, I will focus my mind on something God has done to show His faithfulness to me, especially during my 9-month-long cancer battle.  I will choose not to be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed, so I can proclaim that God’s will is indeed good, pleasing and perfect.

To God be the glory.

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If you have never tried finishing your Christmas preparations early or Random Acts of Christmas Kindness, I would encourage you to consider it for 2012.  Just make a mental note or a note on your calendar to start planning for Christmas after you finish with back-to-school madness.  You won’t need to start shopping in September, but if you at least sit down then and map out what you need to do and when you are going to do it, you will be on the right track.

I’ve had a few people ask about our RACK cards.  Here is a PDF of the RACK cards I printed and taped to construction paper.

Here is a recap of what we did for RACK 2011.  I’m also labeling those that are easy to do with little kids (assuming you are in those places already, such as eating out or running errands), and those that can be done inexpensively.  You don’t have to get kids in and out of the car in the cold or leave large amounts of cash all over town to make a difference!

1.  Left money to pay for people behind us in line at a coffee shop (EASY)

2.  Left a huge tip for our waiter at a restaurant (EASY)

3.  Left money to pay for the person behind us taking photos with Santa (EASY)

4.  Left money for to pay for people behind us at the mall food court (EASY)

5.  Handed out candy canes to people in line on a busy day at the post office (SUPER FUN FOR KIDS, INEXPENSIVE)

6.  Delivered Starbucks and coffee cake to our pastor and church secretary . . . would be easier with kids if our church office had a drive-thru–ha!

7.  Sang Christmas carols in the chemotherapy room at the oncology clinic (ADVANCE PLANNING NEEDED BUT TOTALLY FREE–although we did hand out candy canes around the clinic, it was still inexpensive)

8.  Delivered Christmas treats to neighbors (INEXPENSIVE)

9.  Left Shell gift cards on gas pumps (EASY)

10.  Handed out candy canes to bell ringers while we ran errands (EASY, INEXPENSIVE)

11.  Taped candy canes to ATM machines (EASY, INEXPENSIVE)

12.  Took a plate of cookies to ER workers on Christmas Eve with a basket of candy canes for them to hand out to patients or other hospital employees (INEXPENSIVE)

Here are some other ideas we might try next year:

1.  Make cards to mail to military personnel overseas (ADVANCE PLANNING NECESSARY, BUT EASY AND INEXPENSIVE)

2.  Buy a candy bar for your cashier at the grocery store (EASY, INEXPENSIVE)

3.  Hand out balloons to kids at Target or Wal-mart–it’s a birthday party for Jesus!

4.  Pay for another table at a restaurant or someone behind you in a drive-thru line (EASY)

5.  Leave a gift for your mail carrier (EASY)

6.  Take flowers to residents at a nursing home

7.  Take baby supplies to the crisis pregnancy center

8.  Take coffee to the kids’ teachers in the morning

What other RACK are you planning for next year?

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On Wednesday was my FAVORITE of all our RACK projects.  We went with some friends to sing Christmas carols in the chemotherapy treatment room at the oncology clinic.  Last December, when I was there receiving chemo, some nurses got together and sang carols for us.  I decided then that if I was able, I would bring my kids to sing the next Christmas.  So it was very meaningful to me to be able to go and spread joy to the nurses and patients there this year.  After the kids sang, I handed out candy canes to the patients and nurses and chatted with a few, then went around the clinic handing out candy canes to all my old friends.  Everyone was so excited to see my hair!  :)

On Thursday, we got a Shell gift card and taped it to a gas pump.  Then we had a stake-out to see if it would get used.  I put it on the last pump so no one would see me, but as it turns out, the last pump doesn’t get used very often.  Despite all our cheering from inside our van for cars to pull up to “our” pump, no one did.  After about 20 minutes, we left and went to the grocery store and came back later.  The gift card was still there!  So I got out, moved it one pump over, and we resumed our stake-out.  About two minutes later, someone pulled up to the pump where the card USED to be.  We couldn’t believe it!  We waited another 20 minutes, but still no action on our pump.  We gave up and trust that the Lord brought just the right person along eventually!  We also enjoyed handing out candy canes to Salvation Army bell ringers as we ran errands that day.

Are you looking for a RACK project that only costs $1 and doesn’t even involve getting your kids out of the car?  Today we drove around taping our RACK cards and candy canes to ATM machines.  We also tried our Shell gas card trick again, this time putting them on busier gas pumps.  We got to see people get both of our cards . . . in both cases, they went ahead and paid for their gas, and then stood looking at the pump for awhile, looked around, and then took the Shell card for next time.  I guess when you encounter something that unexpected, it’s hard to know what to do at first!  We had a blast and felt like secret agents!

Our RACK 2011 project is almost done!  Tomorrow night we are hoping to take a plate of cookies to the people working at the desk in the emergency room.  Last year, I spent several hours on December 24 at the hospital receiving a blood transfusion, and I’m sure it’s no fun to work in the ER on Christmas Eve.  We’re looking forward to spreading some joy there, as we celebrate the birth of our Savior!

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The next day, we went to the mall to double-up on RACK projects since I didn’t think we’d have time to do something over the weekend.  We went to see Santa, and I bought a picture just so I could have time at the cash register.  I handed the cashier cash to pay for the person behind me in line, along with one of our RACK cards.  When she read the card, she had tears in her eyes.  Then we hurried away as she turned her attention to the person behind us, who was prepared with a baby in a Santa dress.  :)

Next we headed to the food court for lunch.  At Chick-fil-a, I gave the cashier two $10 bills and two of our RACK cards and asked him to treat a couple of people to lunch.  Apparently they do this at the Chick-fil-a drive-thru quite a bit, but the counter can be a little more difficult.  But I realized at this point in our RACK project that I was bringing joy to all my accomplices as they got to pass along good news and surprise the recipients of our RACK.  I love that part of it!

Today was one of our most fun RACK projects so far.  We met friends at the post office and handed out candy canes to the people standing in line.  The first woman that Will handed a candy cane to was so excited that she gave him a huge hug.  We even saw Nana there!  (She strategically planned her post office trip when she heard candy canes were being handed out at 11:30.  :) )  The kids seemed to have a lot of fun handing them out, and I like to think we improved the mood of that long line just a little bit.  This project took about 15 minutes and only a few dollars worth of candy canes–it will definitely become a family tradition!

Finally, my RACK for my kids in celebration of Christmas break . . . Christmas Crunch!

Now get out there and spread some Christmas joy!  More updates to come . . .

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My friend has done a great job explaining it on her blog.  The idea is that each day of December leading up to Christmas, you do something kind for someone else.  She has adorable little bags with the tasks for each day, like an advent calendar.  I’m jumping on the RACK bandwagon a little late, so I don’t have cute bags.  I have a tentative outline and a couple of specific plans for specific days, but I think most days we will just wake up and figure out what we can do to bless someone else.  And I’ll blog about it, not to be boastful, but to hopefully motivate some of you to join us in spending our December blessing others.

Our RACK 2011 project started yesterday.  On Wednesdays, my oldest child and I go to the public library to work on schoolwork while the younger two attend Bible Study Fellowship.  We get coffee and hot chocolate at the coffee shop in the lobby, and the man who works there, Daniel, is so friendly and always remembers exactly what everyone who walks in the door orders.  Yesterday, my son and I went to the library armed with the RACK cards I made, a candy cane and a $20 bill.

We gave Daniel the candy cane and wished him a merry Christmas.  Then we told him we needed his help.  (Thankfully, there was no one in line behind us.)  We gave him the cards and the $20 and told him that we wanted to pay for however many people we could with the $20 and asked him to keep our secret and give out the cards explaining why we were doing it.  He was so excited!  We sat nearby with our drinks and our schoolbooks and watched it all go down.

The first lady he treated with the money was so grateful that she paid for the person behind her in line!  That stretched our money even further!  A line formed, and people would hear that the person ahead of them had been paid for, and then they would be so surprised when it applied to them as well.  It was fun to watch.  There was one person at the end of the line that I knew was probably going to just barely miss out.  When she got to the counter, Daniel said, “I still have a handful of change here.  I can treat you to a cup of coffee.”  She gladly accepted.  I think Daniel probably helped us out a little on that one–I saw him rummaging in the tip jar afterwards.

Some other plans we have include going to the post office at lunchtime next week to hand out candy canes to customers in line and the workers, taping quarters to candy and toy machines around town, and treating a Salvation Army bell ringer.  I’m excited to work on this with my kids and show Christ’s love to others after He has lavished us with His love.

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I have no Christmas cookies stocked in my freezer and no plans to do a ton of baking this year.  (Sorry, people, we went to Disney World instead.  It was worth it.  But you’re not getting little tins of baked goods from me this year.)  But my kids and I are three chapters into “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” and seeing Will’s reactions to hearing about the Herdmans for the first time makes me even happier than decorating my own house.

If you have made the effort to get most or all of your Christmas preparations finished, what are your plans for December?  I have made a list (thanks again, Pintrest) of all the things I’d like to do with my kids.  I made this frame look festive and wrote the list in dry erase marker on the glass:

Most of these things will probably happen in the week after school gets out.  But we’ve already started memorizing Luke 2, and we snuggled under blankets by the tree tonight to read about Imogene Herdman finding out what everyone weighed in the health office.

What are you all doing to make Christmas special this year?  After all, the purpose of getting our preparations done early isn’t to sit back feel prideful about it.  The purpose is to focus on the birth of Christ and celebrate with our families in a way that honors our Savior.  I’d love to hear your ideas!

P.S. For any of my blog readers who aren’t on facebook, I had my scans last week and got a great report.  Praise the Lord!

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